While her heartbreak plays out for all the world to see on reality TV, Kim Kardashian is "upset" having to relive the end of her marriage on "Keeping Up With the Kardashians."
Last week, fans of the E! show — which ends on June 10 — were given an inside look into Kim's split from Kanye West. At one point, she broke down while lamenting the failure of her third marriage.
"With the 'KUWTK' finale and dramatic episode airing, it's a lot for her to take in when she's reminded of it," a source told E! News.
Kim, the source said, "gets upset" thinking about her divorce or rewatching it.
"She has her ups and downs, especially when she thinks back to happy times with Kanye," the source said.
Despite "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" labeling its episodes as new, they were actually filmed as Kim was filing for divorce. In real time, the mother of four is said to be doing well and has moved on from Kanye — in fact, reports say the ex-couple rarely communicates these days.
"It is sad for her at times to think about the kids having to deal with their parents being split," E!'s source said. "She tries to put everything behind her and is truly focused on herself, the kids and her future plans."
Although Kim and Kanye don't necessarily speak, the rapper does still maintain a relationship with their four kids: North, Saint, Chicago and Psalm. Sources say Kanye has only seen the kids in person a few times this year, but he does speak to them via FaceTime.
"It's been hard. He's really focused on creating music in Wyoming and his fashion line, and [he] has been traveling a lot. The kids are accustomed to the situation and are very much settled with Kim in L.A.," the insider said.
For the time being, Kim and Kanye seem to be merely co-existing with no bad blood and no real relationship of any kind. For that matter, Kim is also not looking to jump into another romantic relationship right now.
"She would like to find someone down to earth and normal," a second source said. "That hasn't happened yet. She's not in a rush and is happy being single. Eventually she would like to find someone again but it has to be the right person."