Amanda Bynes is opening up and speaking candidly about her past drug usage, claiming that she never really had a taste for alcohol, but said marijuana and prescriptions drugs were more to her liking.
"I started smoking marijuana when I was 16. Even though everyone thought I was the 'good girl,' I did smoke marijuana from that point on," she told Paper Magazine for its annual Break The Internet issue. "I didn't get addicted [then] and I wasn't abusing it. And I wasn't going out and partying or making a fool of myself… yet."
Amanda then said she dabbled in other drugs, like ecstasy and cocaine. She discovered Adderall in 2007 after reading a magazine.
"They were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin. I was like, 'Well, I have to get my hands on that,'" she said, admitting that she faked ADD to get a prescription.
In 2010, things took a turn. Amanda now 32, remembers chewing Adderall while learning her lines for "Hall Pass," a movie she eventually dropped out of.
"I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines or memorize them for that matter," she said while expressing disappointment for leaving the film.
When "Easy A" was released that same year, the former child actress admittedly went into a mental free fall.
"I literally couldn't stand my appearance in that movie and I didn't like my performance. I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it," she said. "I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me. I don't know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things."
Amanda shocked the acting community when she announced her retirement on Twitter in June 2010.
"If I was going to retire [the right way], I should've done it in a press statement — but I did it on Twitter. Real classy! But, you know, I was high and I was like, 'You know what? I am so over this' so I just did it. But it was really foolish and I see that now. I was young and stupid," she said.
As a young retiree, Amanda "had no purpose in life," she said. "I would 'wake and bake' and literally be stoned all day long." She also changed her group of friends.
"I got really into my drug usage and it became a really dark, sad world for me," she said.
What followed was a terrible time in her life. In October 2014, she found herself in a treatment center after lashing out against her father on social media, shoplifting and DUI. The year prior, following an involuntary psychiatric hold, which came after she set off a small fire on a neighbor's driveway, Amanda spent time in a psychiatric hospital and then lived with her parents for several months. Her mom, Lynn, was named conservator over her "person" back in 2014.
Also in 2014, she was kicked out of fashion school for odd behavior, with other students accusing her of attending classes with sunglasses on while high on weed, paying others to finish her homework, and blatantly cheating off of classmates during tests. However, in October 2015, she was allowed to return, and Paper magazine said she'll receive her Associate's of Art degree in Merchandise Product Development next month. She now plans to work toward a Bachelor's degree.
Of course, one of her downfalls was the bizarre Twitter messages she wrote.
"I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can't turn back time but if I could, I would. And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad," she said. "Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter."
Amanda is now nearly four years sober.
"Those days of experimenting [with substances] are long over. I'm not sad about it and I don't miss it because I really feel ashamed of how those substances made me act," she said. "When I was off of them, I was completely back to normal and immediately realized what I had done — it was like an alien had literally invaded my body. That is such a strange feeling."