The Fabulous Life Aquatic

Ahoy, mateys! Since summertime is almost upon us, we decided to put together a gallery of our favorite stars engaged in a time-honored outdoor activity: taking to the high seas! So join us and our unofficial cruise director, John Mayer, for a look at celebrities on their ridiculously extravagant holiday cruises.

Reality royalty Khloe and Kim Kardashian practice their most regal wave aboard a boat in Sydney. It's all in the elbows, ladies.

Sick of Lo's perpetual eyeball rolls, a huffy Audrina Patridge follows some scraggly guy she thought was Justin Bobby onto a fishing vessel.

Unfortunately for us, a "Titanic" ending has yet to occur for Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt's relationship.

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron set sail to avoid a tween mob before remembering Disney's huge pirate audience demographic.

Proponent of all things spring break, Tara Reid boards a boat of fun in Australia. Needless to say she put the "woo!" in Woolloomooloo, New South Wales.

Seen here again aboard his beloved Mayercraft cruise, John Mayer shows off his tattoo arm sleeves and revels in his thug appeal shortly before remembering he wrote "Your Body Is a Wonderland."

Lip balmophile Miley Cyrus cruises to safety on a life raft after father Billy Ray Cyrus tried yet again to steal her thunder and, in reality, stole her boat.

Always concerned with being behind the scenes these days, entrepreneur and cougar cub Ashton Kutcher acquaints himself with the ship's anchor.

Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt deboard a boat that presumably stayed afloat on hotness and (fore)headbands.

Britney Spears, with captain's hat, binoculars and obligatory naked lady sweatshirt in tow is ready to sail, y'all.

British comedian and champion of authenticity Russell Brand dons ragged fishing net aboard a boat in Sydney.

Genre-bender Johnny Depp is just about the only person who could pull off a cowboy shirt aboard a Puerto Rican fishing boat and still be irrationally hot.

Whoa there, lass! Shanty slanger Lily Allen makes a run for the plank in St. Barts.

Hayden Panettiere enjoys a spritz of sunscreen aboard "Ye Olde Misspell'd Tattoo."

Hot mom Elle Macpherson enjoys sea snuggles with the kids in Australia.

Along with Elle, Naomi Campbell demonstrates that any supermodel, even the chronically angry and inexplicably violent ones, can be won over by a day on a fancy dinghy.

Tuck Everlasting Robert Pattinson looks like he's going to a funeral as he boards a boat in Cannes. Well, we guess shrouded mysterious darkness is kind of his schtick.