By Mark Gray
11:32am PDT, Nov 5, 2022
_
Kate Moss is operating as if there's a tissue shortage.
_
All that trash… and then there's the garbage behind Heather Rae El Moussa too.
_
Eva Longoria's caboose got more attention on "Desperate Housewives."
_
Ricky Martin's husband is usually the only one who gets to see him when he's horny.
RELATED: Celebs who are vegan
_
That one time Elon Musk was more metal than Ozzy Osbourne.
_
Tahar Rahim's liftoff is smoother than any American Airlines flight.
_
Joe Biden is married to Jill, so he probably shouldn't boast about being "in Erica" so brazenly.
_
Considering he has 10 kids with five women, Eddie Murphy should probably cover up a different head.
_
Ironically, Jared Kushner didn't dare cross his father-in-law.
_
Since Madonna doesn't see the sun much, we'll call her a puff pasty.
_
In the past, the only baby in Dwayne Johnson's life went by the name of Tyrese Gibson.
_
If this woman is the queen, does that make Joe Biden the jester?
_
They call me Prince Wheeliam.
_
Whether it's ice cream or lives, Kanye West is only interested in things that are white.
_
With his right hand, Rhys Ifans is obviously entering more than one house of the dragon.
_
And you thought the biggest mouth Javier Bardem had to deal with was Penelope Cruz's.
_
When you got married just a few months ago and then get the alert that Gisele Bundchen is single again…
_
Emma Thompson is inspiring everyone to check their car's undercarriage.
_
Jacob Elordi was the last dog Kaia Gerber spent time with.
_
Newspapers may be struggling but Kim Kardashian proves print isn't dead.
_
On the bright side, this breadstick can't be as stale as Luke Bryan's "Knockin' Boots."
_
If found, please return Amelia Hamlin and Lisa Rinna to Area 51.
_
Even the "Seinfeld" crew would agree that Jon Hamm is sponge worthy.
_
And you thought Tom and Gisele were the most dysfunctional duo in Florida…
_
Lori Loughlin's criminal record isn't even this clean.
_
For being 71,000 and 122,000, Simon Helberg and Jocelyn Towne look great for their ages.
_
Lucy Boynton looks like she's having a worse breakdown than that Chevy.
_
Just look at that little furball. And look at FKA twigs' dog too.
_
Alice Eve blows harder than a hair dryer.
_
John Malkovich hasn't been around anyone this emotionless since starring in a Mr. Bean film.
_
Doja Cat will never come this close to an Oscar.
_
Ashlee Simpson looks at where her career went after that lip-syncing fail.
_
Diplo wants to be an all-genre DJ, but he's obviously gone pop.
_
Mariah Carey's ex-husband Nick Cannon never thinks about using this much protection.
_
We now know that Adam Levine is just as playful in his direct messages.
_
If Emilia Clarke likes hanging with lifeless meat so much, she could just hang out at any nightclub near Arizona State University.
_
Nicky Hilton is either living out a fantasy or phallic-sy… or a little of both.
_
Kendall Jenner counting how many children and baby mamas Tristan Thompson has.
_
Kanye West's political flip-flops are less bedazzled.
_
This is still more refreshing than Ryan Phillippe's role in "MacGruber."
