By Mark Gray
7:30am PDT, Sep 6, 2022
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At least Paris won't sink like Hilton stock did this summer.
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Brendon Urie is more dolled up than Gene Simmons.
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The Pope gets more women than a WNBA roster.
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Eric Roberts likes ketchup on his hot dog… his frankfurter, too.
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Jason Oppenheim's love life isn't afraid of heights.
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Kelly Rowland can't carry her baby or Destiny's Child.
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"It's my way, or the Ry way" —Eva Mendes to their children
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It would be rather fitting if Carrot Top made a prop bet, wouldn't it?
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This is more unsteady than Katie Maloney's marriage.
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Erika Jayne, just another trashy Housewife.
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Eiza Gonzalez is reportedly dating Jason Momoa, but she's being linked to this wrapper.
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Kenan Thompson has a longer shelf life than Demi Lovato's pronouns.
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Although Hollywood is always concerned about weight, Jared Leto isn't afraid of the scale.
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Rumer Willis's acting career seems to also be in a vegetative state.
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Lisa Rinna is more blown than a Dallas Cowboys fourth quarter lead.
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"Dear Wendy Williams, This one Hertz, doesn't it? Signed, Sherri Shepherd."
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The water is rougher than Paris Hilton's DJ mixes and transitions.
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Even cancel culture doesn't make Billie Eilish sweat like this.
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Donald Trump couldn't decide if he wanted to use the sand wedge or his one-of-a-kind twice-impeached club.
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John Cena doesn't have the WWE title belt, but the chomp is here!
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Apparently, autocorrect got the best of Howie Mandel's shirt.
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Rod Stewart looks like he's got more legs than one of Kylie Jenner's flights.
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Jessica Biel's husband made us flip out even more after his half-hearted apologies to Britney and Janet.
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José Bastón knows that marriage to Eva Longoria is fun… with strings attached.
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With apologies to the Beyhive, the most iconic thing in this photo is the moon.
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Vanessa Hudgens' MLB player boyfriend isn't doing this swell in the batter's box this season.
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Another Catholic leader who can't keep his hands to himself.
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Alicia Vikander looks like she just made a bigger gaffe than when she briefly dated Alexander Skarsgard.
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You can't find blue noodles at a restaurant, but you can find them among the men Sienna Miller teases.
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Charles has TSA Prince-Check.
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Heidi Klum might be the one person enjoying inflation.
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And here you thought Buzz Lightyear was Woody's favorite sidekick…
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Brad Pitt's blockage isn't as severe as the one a doctor can find.
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There are actually more hands on deck for Kylie Jenner's 12-minute flights.
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Rod Stewart is still a rags-to-riches story.
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Millie Bobby Brown is covered more than Elvis Presley's catalogue.
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Did Dane Cook let his fiancé keep the toy that comes with the kid's meal?
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Chris Pine was obviously en route to buy lottery tickets.
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No doubt Kelly Ripa is just trying to see how Mark Consuelos measures up.
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The pizza doesn't flop as bad as Katy's Perry's "Smile" album.
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The last time Candice Swanepoel was on her back, she had two kids with her ex.
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Even roller coasters don't go off the rails like Kim Kardashian's ex-husband does.
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Adrien Brody is from the Northeast, but he likes his showers in the Deep South.
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Is this another Catholic coverup, or is that the Pope?
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Prince Charles doesn't just cut communication with his son.
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Bryan Cranston doesn't need Starbucks for a little pickup.
