By Cindy Joung
Alex Rodriguez turns 34 on July 27. Hoping you get to third base and beyond this season … in the game of baseball, that is, not the game of love. But while we're on the subject of love, hope you've upgraded to a full coverage policy.
Soulja Boy turns 19 on July 28. Wishing you happiness and health. Take your vitamins and watch out for symptoms of the "Swag Flu."
Hilary Swank turns 35 on July 30. Though you're flying high with two Academy Awards under your belt, it looks like you're boarding a direct flight to "Oscar"-ville. Hope you nail the part of Amelia Earhart in the new biopic!
Tom Green turns 38 on July 30. Hey, Tom, it looks like you have something in common with Jeff Goldblum, Harrison Ford and Rick Astley. Yeah, it turns out you're still alive despite the news, er, I mean rumors, on the Internet. Keep on truckin', guy!
Vivica A. Fox turns 45 on July 30. Oh, hey, Vivi, we know it's your birthday, but you need to "Curb Your Enthusiasm"! Modesty is a virtue, too.
Laurence Fishburne turns 48 on July 30. Happy birthday, Laurence! Now the big question is: Will you eat the red cake or the blue cake?
Lisa Kudrow turns 46 on July 30. Hope you keep giving die-hard "Friends" fans the "Web Therapy" they need to go on living. Happy birthday!
Delta Burke turns 53 on July 30. We're just tickled to hear that you and Liza are playing sisters in a new show. It's almost as good as a Sugarbaker fix.
California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger turns 62 on July 30. We know you're the "Last Action Hero," but just a bit of advice: You don't need an actual knife to make budget cuts.
J.K. Rowling turns 44 on July 31. Now that the "Harry Potter" series is done, we hope you find another nerdy, fantasy genre to make you another million Muggle dollars. Good luck!
Wesley Snipes turns 47 on July 31. Hope you successfully evade tacky over-the-hill jokes. That's the only thing you should evade though — just saying.
Coolio turns 46 on August 1. Hope you get served the kind of birthday dinner you'd only find in a "Gangsta's Paradise." Although I'm sure you'll have no problems fixing up your own five-star meal.